It feels as though it is almost an everyday occurrence to find myself sat in a yet another city in yet another country wondering what my next move will be. I make myself sound somewhat glamorous there which is definitely not the case. I am not a member of the privileged classes; I am a somewhat bored, dazed, confused and delusional 24 year old girl who dreams of being whisked off by her Prince on a white horse despite my jaded outlook on life love and all that lies between the murky waters of growing up. Ah yes, growing up. Something I have managed to put off quite well despite familial attempts otherwise. In saying that I find it is more my friends that are determined to push me towards something I do not want; on occasion I do feel like a project, or a spinster aunt. Luckily I am no longer the last single girl on the block; relationships at 24 surprisingly come and go. It has been an interesting transition from the one in the second longest relationship to the one furthest away from marriage and babies, although I fully admit to me I was never that close. I never wanted all those things – marriage is a no-go area in my mind. I do not believe in signing my life onto a piece of paper nor will I ever trust anyone enough to allow them to be in every part of my life, I find it a ludicrous idea that you are not to have secrets from someone and that this person is to share in every aspect of your life. I do not like to share and there are few people I tell all aspects of my life to, I share bits and pieces but only I hold all the pages and I like it that way.
But to return to my current location, which happens to be Los Cabos (specifically San Jose del Cabo) in Mexico. I decided enough was enough and it was time to do something productive with myself and left New York in a cloud of anxiety and frustration. I was sick of the U.S; it gets to you after a while all that false bravado, inexplicable pride and bullshit. Don’t get me wrong I think every country has the right to be patriotic; I love my country but at the same time can see its flaws. Apparently the same cannot be said for those who reside in the good old USA… plus I would like to know exactly what it is this ‘great nation’ has done to invoke such passion and reverence in its people. A country that is a mere 232 years old should not be able to boast about its ‘history’. History. Please my school is older than the United States. Now I am not saying I don’t like the states or that I wouldn’t go there again. Alaska is the most incredible place I have ever been and has totally changed me. I have never felt more in love with a place and a place has never gotten more into my blood than Alaska. Not necessarily a specific town but the state itself; it is a world unto its own and somewhere I will never forget and fully intend to return to many times in the future. In fact I do believe to find myself a born and bred, bearded Alaskan would in fact be living the dream! I do think the people I met in Alaska have a lot to do with my enamoured feelings; spending three weeks in a tent with someone either builds bonds or drives you insane. Fortunately I feel I built bonds; a fantastic group of people who I easily made my family for the time we were together. Even the bad times have good memories and I have stories I will never forget; medical evacuation and search and rescue being the two that spring to mind. Alaska is also the only place that has its own playlist that every time I listen a smile breaks out across my face and I look like a crazy person sat in Starbucks smiling, dancing and singing to myself but in that moment I do not care; I have my memories and everything else falls to the wayside. I don’t think even I comprehend how much this 49th State has changed me and it’s anybody’s guess what the end results will be.
There are places I wanted to go in the States that I never got to for lack of transportation; that’s right I’m 24 and do not hold a drivers licence. I just never needed to drive… until now which of course is par the course really! Montana, Wyoming, Colorado – they are my ‘dream states’; places I feel the world is just not the same. Having met a lot of people from Colorado and some from Montana I feel I would experience the same rush as I did from Alaska. There are of course the southern states that really are so full of the most incredible stories and history that continues today. With the southern states I thought the middle of August might not be the best time visit – so instead headed to Mexico where the heat nearly kills me every night as I toss and turn in a vain attempt to find some cool air and sleep. But I also wanted to leave something to go back; I feel as though had I seen and done everything maybe I would never go back. I have to cross the border back into the U.S pretty much every 30 days to make sure I can keep my Visa and return for a visit in October and November.
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