May 2nd 2011 came around so fast. I had spent months planning (or so I thought, I later discovered how little I was prepared!) my trip across Canada, then to Alaska, across the U.S and then down to South America where I planned to teach English for a year. Oh the irony of that situation as I look for Spanish classes in Mexico but it is impossible to plan when so many things come up. For example I never even planned to go to the east coast of Canada but a girl I met in Montreal who was headed east and we struck up a friendship that led me to Quebec City, Charlottetown, Cape Breton Island and Halifax. That was an incredible month and so glad I went so like I said you can’t plan for these things. Plans are apparently non-refundable which is a total pain in the ass and unbelievably costly at the end of the day. However on the flip side when I got to New York I really should’ve planned as it was difficult to find somewhere to say but again I ended up staying with a woman on the Upper West Side and sharing great times with her so maybe there is something in this fate malarkey!
When I try and think about what made me decided Canada, U.S etc I have no idea, I really don’t know what it was that made me decide to travel here. Maybe it’s because it is so close and I feel silly that I never visited. Although saying that Ireland is damned close but I still haven’t visited there; the shame! But I know my Mother contributed greatly, she also loves to travel having been carted across Europe in the back of her parents’ car with her three brothers when she was a child and it was hearing her stories that inspired me all the way. It is always hearing her advice that stops me from giving up; she always makes me see sense and ends up pointing me in the direction I didn’t realise was right. She says she knows what I should do, knows what will suit me and make me happy but refuses to share this vital information – apparently I am just stubborn enough to ignore her and go off wondering lost and confused as I didn’t figure it out for myself. I found an interesting quote that I have made my mantra – ‘life is not about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself’ and I find that so apt, so meaningful and so what I want and desperately need to hear. It’s funny how plans change, how things you start you realise you now lack the will to finish, things that interested you now bore and people you thought were great are really not so great; they are the superficial aspects of your life that you are quite determinedly running from.
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